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A Useful Tool for Self-Assessment
Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.
- Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
- Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
- Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
- Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
- Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
- Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships?
- Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
- Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns, which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
- Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
- Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
- Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
- Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
- Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend an Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.
Criteria For Sex Addiction
Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses.
More extensive/longer sexual acting out than intended.
Ongoing, but unsuccessful, efforts to stop, reduce, or control behavior.
Inordinate time spent obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.
Feeling preoccupied with sexual behavior and/or preparatory activities.
Acting out takes significant time away from obligations: occupational, academic, domestic, or social.
Continuation of behavior despite consequences:
Risk of VD
Lost partner or had marital problems
Lost rights to be with children
Abortions/ unwanted pregnancies
Career problems
Risk arrest
Tolerance - More frequency or intensity of behavior is needed over time to obtain the desired result.
Deliberately limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities to keep time open for acting out.
Distress, restlessness, or irritability if unable to do behavior (withdrawal)
Dizziness
Body aches
Headaches
Sleeplessness
Restlessness
Anxiety
Mood swings
Depression
A minumum of 3 of the above 10 needed are needed for sex addiction to be considered present. Most sex addicts have 5 signs, while over 50% have 7.
Material taken from research by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.