By Stuart Vogelman
The following steps can be taken to begin your journey to purity. You may be addicted. You may not. Or, you may just be dabbling in this stuff and want to nip-it-in-the-bud by being proactive. In any case, the following program can help you become free.
Become a Pure Warrior! This is your Battle Plan!
Step 1
Pray. Pour your heart out to God. Ask him to help you become accountable, to become pure, to “do what is necessary” to heal. Thank him for what he will do in your life. Do this every day! Now get ready! Read these scriptures: 1 John 1:9 and Proverbs 28:13, Isaiah 1:18.
Step 2
We recommend you take a sexual addiction self-assessment. The following links will provide several choices. We recommend taking at least one or two.
Sexual Addiction Screening Test
If you find that you are addicted…
You should contact your pastor, a Christian counselor or contact some other professional, as you will probably need to seek some professional help. Two places you can go www.sexaddict.com or www.pureintimacy.org. These sites can get help to you. At these sites, you can find phone resources, materials, and in-depth 12-step process information within a Christian context. The steps below will help you but may not be thorough enough. Understand that many pastors are not trained in this area and may not understand sexual addiction issues. You may need to seek help more than once with different individuals.
If you are not addicted or if you feel like you may be developing an addiction but don't think you are there yet...
Be brutally honest with yourself. Tell someone—it should be another man. There is one thing you can do to make your efforts fail. Keep it secret. Once you have told someone, follow the steps below to begin your journey to sexual purity.
Remember this one thing. You can’t get better alone. Period. See James 5:16. This is God’s formula for recovery.
Step 3
Follow the steps in our Cleaning House Checklist
You must eliminate all, and I mean all, materials that could tempt you. Destroy any porn around your house, car, storage unit, office etc. That means everything! That means destroy, not disable, put away, or otherwise cheat! Move your computer in the busiest place in the house. Put it where you can’t sneak around on it. Destroy any personal items that facilitate, support, remind or assist you in your addictive process. That means, credit cards, video rental cards, photos, business cards, email addresses, books etc… that have facilitated your behaviors. See the Pure Warrior Cleaning House Checklist page.
I would take any of the stuff you are destroying and throw it in your fireplace and burn it—if you can. Or, put it out in the trash in a large garbage bag. Have a little party with someone close, like the person you choose to be your Pure Warrior Partner.
Step 4
Get an internet filter and install it. There are many out there. I recommend www.contentscreen.com or www.bsafe.org. Give the password to your Pure Warrior Partner or your spouse. (www.cyberpatrol.com, www.integrityonline.com) Sign up for accountability software. www.X3watch.com is free, also www.covenanteyes.com is excellent software that allow you to use the internet while being accountable. This step is not optional. Accountability software works great. You need to have it on every computer you use. It notifies your accountability partner, if you look at something questionable, shut the program off, or uninstall it. Content Screen and Bsafe provide filtering and accountability capability.
If you have a mac, the “Content Barrior” product will work. www.intego.com.
Step 5
Change your focus. Start building some new habits. Begin to live the five covenant behaviors.
These are adapted from Dr. Doug Weiss and his 101 Freedom exercises. For more information visit www.sexaddict.com.
Step 6
Start a Pure Warrior Group at your church. Find 5-6 men and study the Word, book studies on purity and temptation. Get into the Word every week with some guys. Get started! There are many great men’s studies. I recommend the “Being God’s Man” Series by Every Man Ministries located at www.everymanministries.com in the “resources” section.
Follow the Pure Warrior Program for accountability. See Resources for Men section of this website for more information. As you implement the steps to becoming a Pure Warrior, remember these truths!
You can’t do it alone. Your recipe for failure is to continue in secrecy. Guaranteed! Get into the Word. Pray. Read the Bible. I recommend the new version in addition to an NIV called The Message. It is easy to read, and/or the LIFE RECOVERY BIBLE. Remember it won’t happen over night. A baby doesn’t walk over night. It first rolls over. Then the baby starts to crawl. After that the baby might pull him/herself up. Then the baby might stand up holding on to something. First steps come soon there after but not without parents right there to hold the evolving toddler up. And, there are falls along the way. Expect this to take months (Maybe 3, 6 or more). It may get harder before it gets better. Your old self will not go easily. Use your Pure Warrior Partner!!!
Replace space in your life that sexual sin was taking with a more close and personal relationship with the creator that made and loves you. You must do this. If you don’t replace this part of your life but instead just try to “stop” you will fail.
I welcome your comments and stories of victory. Email me at info(at)purewarrior.org.