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Pure Warrior Freedom Group Meeting Guide--FOR LEADERS
The chairperson runs each meeting. At every meeting the process is as follows. This person should rotate through the group about every 8 weeks so that everyone is trained in how to run a group.
- Opening Prayer
- Check-In (40 minutes) -- Introduce any new attendees first. Then each person states their current feelings, boundaries, progress in books/exercices, relapse consequence and time in sobriety. A leader guide is shown below. This should take 5-7 minutes each. Most will want to verbally dump at this point... discipline yourselves not to do that. Discussion comes later.
State Name | Only if there is a new man in attendance, or the group is new |
State Boundaries | Purpose is to reinforce them verbally for themselves and others in order to modify, clarify and adjust them as recovery progresses--boundaries should become clear, concise, effective and re-inforcable. (tempted to just say "boundaries are the same") Don't do that. |
Feelings | Short summary of one is feeling "right now." This is just a summary!! This is not the time for a detailed discource, that comes later. |
Time in Sobriety | Stated in number of days, weeks or months. Sobriety is defined usually as masturbation or anything beyond that. Sometimes there are specific boundaries that are also tracked. Sometimes if alcohol is a key issue, sobriety in that area is stated as well. |
Progress in Books | Each should have looked at their books and noted progress swince the previous week. this is not discussion of hte work but merely reporting on progress. (ie. Finished step 1 and competed excercises 46-49, did some reading in the Final Freedom book) EVRYONE WORKS BOOKS AT THEIR OWN PACE. But hold each other accountable to make progress. Rule of thumb--12 steps in 12 months. If you are in your first 100 days, group needs to check on the tracking page for the 5 commandments |
- Feedback and Disucssion (40 minutes) -- This is the time each person can discuss how their week went, challenges, victories, difficult situations etc.
- Topical Discussion (40 minutes) -- The chairperson chooses a topic for group discussion. (see discussion topic samples in your text book "The final Freedom." Pick a topic and use the time to discuss.
- Closing Prayer -- This can be taking turns, quick closing prayer, specific prayer for one of the guys or whatever the group wants given time. Remember to pray for the empty chair!!!!
IMPORTANT--During the Feedback time and Topical Discussion time, dialogue is to be open but respectful. No swearing or bad language is allowed. Watch for descriptions that are too detailed or visual (triggers) and for guys that just talk and talk dominating the discussion. Also, if anyone wants to give anyone else "feedback" permission must be requested and given. That doesn't mean that men can's ask each other questions, but if feedback (constructive criticism) is to be given this rule must ALWAYS be respected. (The guys will feel uncomfortable asking for permission and giving permission at first but it will get normal after awhile)
Keep them on track with time--faciliate the meeting process. It will take practice and discipline. Some will complain. But, over time you will be glad you stuck to your guns on the meeting process.
NEW GROUPS
When starting a new group, is is ok to take the first 4-6 meetings just to get to know one another. THIS IS IMPORTANT. Before starting the materials, everyone should take turn telliing their story. That means about 30 minutes of their life, what got them to this meeting, their sexual history high points etc. Take one story a night along with just discussion time and bonding!!!! This is key. Have a book start date and a start date for everyone starting their 100 days. Exchange phone numbers then email out a phone contact sheet. As new guys start the group you add them to the list (taking off guys that quit etc).